How a rarely-talked-about source of frustration can become the greatest gift, especially for high performers accustomed to moving fast
“Oh, you are too much! Don’t get ahead of yourself!” are just a few of the countless remarks my dear friend has been hearing her whole life. Seemingly innocent, they evolved into proverbial hooks that held her back in life and business for a long time.
Since I started my business nearly a decade ago, I have had the honor of working with some of the most inspiring trailblazers and pioneers who, like my friend, possess this incredible gift of foresight, and are usually ahead of their time, ahead of the curve. They live fast.
Along with their remarkable vision, innate knowing, and decisive taking of (usually unconventional) leaps of faith, they also shared with me how frustrating it can be to feel misunderstood, underestimated, or even called crazy at times.
Moreover, what really boggled them was this experience where they could already envision goals and possibilities so much greater than they could have ever imagined… they knew that’s what they were destined for… and yet, in reality, they were still stumbling over the most basic initial steps! The goals they had set for themselves were nowhere near achieved.
I knew exactly what they were saying – it truly can be lonely, isolating, and rocky.
Here are a couple of things to keep in mind…to step into, remain in a state of flow with, and alignment around.
We are vibrational beings. Everything around us responds to the vibratory frequency we exude. You have heard of manifesting, right? And the Law of Attraction? On the surface, the principles seem really simple:
- First, envision what you desire.
- Second, believe in it already being so.
- Third, live as if it’s already so, and align to it’s vibraroty frequency.
- Then, you will see it appear in real life.
Still no changes in the 3D reality no matter how much you envision, meditate, chant, and work?
Ok, let’s take a deeper look then.
1- APPROVAL OF OTHERS VERSUS HONORING OURSELVES
Our most basic need is to belong, our natural instinct is to seek approval. Therefore it feels natural to want to simply shrink “back” into the more widely-acceptable way of being, working, and living.
This is especially true for emerging leaders, entrepreneurs in transition when things that once worked, suddenly no longer do. When everyone around us seems to be passing us left and right, but our own results seem to come to a stall.
It is tempting to disregard our ideas, and copy what others are doing so easily, so successfully. It’s tempting to bury our dreams somewhere so deep that they surely won’t distract us when we continue to live our life by the definition of others, by what society expects of us, and by ticking off all the checkboxes that are already in place. If this has worked for so many and for all these years, they must be right. Right?
Not that long ago, I spoke to another friend. I sensed that they were experiencing some major internal turmoils. Eventually, they asked, “Sara, why should I care anymore? I am so tired, why should I even try to uncover my “gifts” and all that jazz that’s been turned into marketing buzzwords?”
The question gave me a pause, and then a stream of consciousness rushed through in realizing just how many leaders are experiencing this very same conflict.
Of course my friend was tired, who wouldn’t be – trying to keep her head above proverbial water with one hand tied behind her back? Trying to live her whole life in fear and shame because her family, her colleagues, her community did not understand her? Did not accept her? Forced her to change herself?
But here’s the thing – doing so can only work to a certain point before the disconnect between who we are and who we pretend to be grows too wide and too deep. We have lost too many incredible beings because this dark emptiness consumed them. And my friend was on the ledge, too, ready to end it all.
Giving yourself permission to emerge in your wholeness-ness, is not for the faint of heart. It requires deep healing, conscious and subconscious work, oftentimes even a change of environment. But it’s worth it! And, it’s the only way. So, go live out loud, live fast, live free…and see magic & miracles happen!
2- RELAX TO RECEIVE
One of my mentors, Rebecca T. Dickson, once explained, “Imagine you are in a restaurant with a friend. You’re having fun, and then the waiter comes to get your order. You tell them you would like a steak, medium rare, with the sauce on the side. And steamed vegetables. And a baked potato.
Do you then follow them into the kitchen and shadow the chef to make sure they are preparing your meal right? Are you keep asking the waiter to check on the status of your meal? No! You continue your conversation with the friend, you have fun, and are in total and complete surrender and knowing that your order is received, processed, and delivered! That’s how manifestation works!”
Simple, right? So why are those of us who work and live fast so challenged with surrender, and how are we holding ourselves back?
- First, after years of being told we are too much, or not enough, we internalize it. It becomes familiar. So we will sabotage ourselves just to stay in the familiarity of shame, guilt, and self-rejection of “Who do you think you are? Why are you even doing it?” Judging and rejecting ourselves is safer than being judged or rejected by others.
But because praise feels so good, and because we are conditioned to be judged and accepted based on the results we produce, we will then overcompensate for the void. We work harder, hustle, give and please more (and eventually burn out, as many of us have).
- Second, not everyone around us operates the same way. So again, giving ourselves permission to relax in order to receive is an actual productivity hack!
So next time you’re tempted to jump right back into the minutiae, choose the opposite option.
- Third, when we start doubting, when we get frustrated, and when we focus on all that has not yet happened, we are focusing on the energy of lack. We are tuned into lower frequency.
Turning goals into reality works just like a radio station. You have to be tuned into a specific station to receive their program. In life, we have to be tuned into the energy of what we are manifesting.
When I find myself in a space of frustration, judgement, and lack, I remind myself to be curious; I would ask, “What is it there that still requires my attention? What is it showing up that is seeking to be resolved? Released? Transformed? How can I show up in integrity to my vision?”
Because the reality we are experiencing now, is simply a result of our beliefs and actions yesterday. Where we will be tomorrow, it depends on us right now. “How we respond, is what we get next!” teaches one of my mentors, Marci Lock.
So, give yourself permission to drop the importance around it. Drop the expectation of the outcome. Drop the comparison about how you’re doing it. Relax into receiving. And see magic & miracles happen!
With the capacity to hold the big vision, to move all the required energy, to take massive action, and to receive the desired, comes the capacity to actually notice and celebrate it all.
One of the most challenging things for my highly-accomplished and driven clients, is to celebrate themselves and their success once their goals and dreams have been realized. Most of them don’t even realize it because in their mind, in their aura, and in their soul, they already are light-years ahead of themselves, already envisioning, planning, and manifesting (working on and living in the “as if it’s already so” state) the next thing.
So when you realize you have already achieved so much, when you know how much is still available and meant for you, and when you are holding your vision, and space for it to come true – keep showing up every day! Feel into the awareness, notice how your perspective, knowing, and energy are shifting.
It might sound easy, but it’s not always a smooth ride. Due to many reasons, including subconscious programming mentioned above, this can be a complex experience. That said, reality sometimes simply has to catch up, especially when we are going for big and bold things, when we are a lot, moving fast, and living ahead of our time.